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How to Avoid the Text Trap

Take late night hook-up texts and flip them back into dating territory.


“When a man is into a woman, man, she knows it.
And when a woman is into a man, he knows it, too.”


Hi, guys. So, I asked my followers on Instagram something the other week, which was this:


How easy is it for you to know if someone's into you or not?


And the responses were split.


Half of you said that it's easy and the other half said that you had absolutely no idea!


So I thought I’d help to clear up any confusion and make it super, super easy for you to know if someone is, in fact, into you, OR if they're going to string you along into potentially a “text pal” conversation you don’t have time for.


How to Find Out if Someone is Into You:


The way to find out if someone's interested in you, whether you met IRL or whether it was via an app, at some point you're going to get into the phone zone, right? (i.e. communicating solely through text messages.)


When this happens, you should start to look out for three things:


  1. Engagement Are they asking you any questions about you? Do they seem interested?

  2. Consistency Are they consistently responding and messaging you regularly? How often are they messaging you? Is it every few hours? It could be every day, but if they dip in and out every few days, it's not a good sign.

  3. Time Time is an interesting one. So let's unpack that...Some people think that if people don't message you back immediately, then they're not into you.


That's false.


Guys, people are busy!


It's actually a good sign that someone has a life.


That they're focused on their work or their family.


Or that when they're out with their friends that they're in the moment and not constantly checking their phone.


Personally, I think that anyone that is checking their phone all the time and waiting for a text message to text you back immediately is pretty unhealthy.


But anyway, the point is they don't have to text you back immediately.


They can take a few hours as long as the messaging you back on the same day. That's a good sign.


And then the bit that really is the most important thing is if they ask you what your schedule is like and that typically happens within the first five messages, maximum eight.


If they don't, then that's not a good sign.




So, let's Recap...


If they're engaged, if they're consistent and if they get back to you in good time, it's a good sign that they're interested.


And if they ask you what your schedule is like, then that person wants to go out with you. So make it easy! Book the date. Go. Have a great time.


If they don't do any of that. And that's kind of going along a “text pal” situation that you don't have time for or don't want, then you’re gonna want to confirm whether they do like you and they’re just not sure how to actually ask you out or if they are just planning on stringing you along.


You want to move the conversation into a place where you gain clarity.


If you feel like someone's wasting your time, here’s what you do:


Wait for them to message you and then respond in a really positive way, as always, don't project any anger or frustration because it really is unnecessary. And you don't know what's going on in someone's life, right?


So respond positively and just say something like, “Oh, hey, I thought you were a ghost, but it's nice to hear from you. I know when things can get busy and actually I'm going to have a pretty busy week myself. So if you want to hang out, let me know. And if not, no worries.”


Something like that but, use your own words.


Basically the point being is that you call out the elephant in the room in a really cool way.

You say that you're busy, too so you kind of elevate it in their mind that you're not just kind of hanging around-- you've got stuff to do!


So if they want to hang out with you, then make a date. And you can do it in a really cool way- without being needy, without being, you know, desperate and in a really, really confident way, which is extremely attractive to any person.


Then that person can respond and ask you out or ghost or take a long time. But then you’ll have the information that you need.


You can walk away confidently and spend your time speaking to somebody that wants to spend time talking to you.


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