Updated: Feb 11
Anyone who thinks love in lock down isn't possible, I hope you will have renewed hope by the time you get to the end of this blog when you read the success story and tips to start your path to love in lock down. Love is possible in the pandemic and here's a beautiful story from my client, Shanna, 30-year-old American gal & her now Fiancé Simon, 32 British/Irish guy who met in London March 2020 on a dating app, grew a relationship in the pandemic throughout the lock down roller coaster and are now engaged! As featured on BBC News just before Valentines day. It started with a single swipe and some coaching on growing an communication and growing an emotional connection while physically apart from me! I'm going to share the tips here for you, including the "CoronaZoned" watch out that every single must know while navigating dating in the pandemic.
Pic: Shanna & Simon Lock Down Engagement Photo, London
For those who are new here, Hi! I’m Haifa. Author of From Swipe to Baeand founder of The Boost App. A self-growth app. Here to share this incredible success story and the 6 keys for other singles seeking the same to help improve your journey to love in this pandemic.
Here’s what Shanna had to say “I was able to focus on what’s really important, not fancy restaurants and cool get away’s’ and find someone who was going to make the best out of a terrible situation, support and care for me and do anything he could to make me happy and I do the same for him in return. My family in the US love him and we’re all having regular family Zoom Time with his. Honestly, I was unsure at first if it was even possible to keep dating let alone end up engaged. Haifa's support and positivity kept me motivated and sane as I navigated the early stages of both a relationship and a Pandemic lockdown.
Starting a relationship in lockdown really gave me the time and opportunity to evaluate myself, the relationship and consider a future with space to think about what that really meant. Haifa encouraged me to maintain contact and find ways to communicate with Simon throughout early lockdown that weren't standard messages. She was also a solid sounding board to discuss my feelings and emotions in the ups and downs of 2020, which we must “Normalize” for everyone. I am happy to stay that thanks to her support and advice I had a successful Pandemic romance that has lead to an engagement with a loving and supportive man. I’m super happy and grateful”
Ladies and gents. The pandemic has and can help you find real love. From my experience with coaching during these times. The pandemic has actually had a positive impact on Love. By taking away all distractions, love seekers can do what’s challenging in modern dating today; get to know each-others’ real selves. The holy grail of growing a healthy connection. Complete acceptance of each other. For singles out there today, modern dating can be a superficial experience if you don’t know how to navigate the digital first, multiple options world. I’m thrilled to have been part of Shanna and Simons’ success story and to share the 6 keys to love in lock down for other singles seeking the same. Finding love in the pandemic is absolutely possible while following the latest guidelines, social distanced, wearing masks and escalating safely which brings a unique opportunity to use responsibility to your advantage; being open and authentic with how you feel without fear. .
Right, I know you want the tips to do the same. This is going to get you started and please don't forget. DM me on instagram @thehaifaboost or email me at email@example.com if you have any questions or want to coach with me.
The 6 keys to love in lock down for the singles out there
Everything in life is a strategy. Here are the 6 keys to love in lockdown. By using dating apps to your advantage, growing an emotional connection despite being physically apart and taking the little opportunities to social distance date and escalating safely, love in the pandemic is possible.
1: Swipetimize: your time on dating aps. Optimizing your swipe time to get more matches and takin the chat off the app asap, making the dating apps work to you advantage. Spend 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening to swipe and respond to fill the pool of potentials. A key strategy from the book Swipe to Bae. Don’t worry if some people don’t respond. There’s a lot of bots on dating apps. Keep the dating with purpose mindset of growing the options and as soon as you can, take it off the app. When you’re in the real phone zone, you begin to see each other as a human. It’s also completely OK and typical modern dating behavior to talk to more than 1 person at a time until you “Bubble Up” and pre-pandemic, go to exclusive or bf/gf status.
2 Story Telling: Answer questions with story telling. You’ll learn so much more about a person and their character. You’ll what excites them, what they’re fearful of, what they are comfortable sharing or not. It will open up more conversation routes to probe deeper, share stories back, find commonalities and importantly, begin to connect on a deeper level. With the story-telling approach you’ll learn so much more than what you’d get asking surface level questions like “what do you do for work or where do you want to go when all of this is over? To help with that. Simply add the word, why after questions like that? Or tell me about a time when (fill in the blank).
3: Escalate safely: until you cover test and bubble up. Escalate the connection as time goes on. Start small with a call, a video date, video cook dinner together, read a book together by each reading a chapter then chatting about it on a video call, play games, better yet, MAKE UP A GAME like you would a secret hand shake to create connections unique to both of you. Take advantage of social distance walks, then have the next level bubble talk. It’s as simple as taking a covid-19 test first before meeting up at each- others homes. Later, you can quarantine and chill together, as in, completely bubble up and move in together if that’s something you both want. Here’s access to free dating success guides for both men and women to help navigate all things early dating.
4. The CoronaZoned Watch out! There are many people out there who have no interest in growing a connection and simply looking for chat buddies. Instead of using chat rooms, they’re going to dating apps. The easy way to spot this is if they resist any escalation. Always making excuses not to take a call or video date, much like a catfish who isn’t who they say they are and avoid real connection. If you’re serious about finding a partner, don’t waste your time on staying in the text zone only and go back to the Swipetimization strategy. Fill that pool of potentials. It’s as easy as swipe, chat, escalate.
5. Reduce the ghosting rate for humanity. Not every person you meet will be the love of your life. Now more importantly than ever, avoid ghosting. Ghosting means “disappearing without saying a word”. Some people are more fragile in lock down life despite the façade they put on. Instead of ghosting, let go with kindness by simply expressing that while it's been nice to chat, a connection elsewhere is growing and that the person will no doubt meet someone soon. Use your own words. Just let them go with kindness for the collective good & your future dating karma :)
6. Love yourself first and you attract it. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. When you love yourself and learn how to live with you in a self-loving way, everything else begins to fall into place. Take time to look after the inner you, stay positive about yourself in the process and remember it's a numbers game. Practice leads to confidence and happiness. Which is the top traits that people are attracted to. Love you. Others will too.
Pandemic or not. Life doesn’t stop. Take good care and do not give up.
DM or email me with questions or to get your coaching journey started!
Sending you love.
P.S. If you're anything like me and don't want to scroll back up, you can grab your copy of From Swipe to Bae & between now and valentines day, it's half price for as a V-day gift to you x
On a relentless mission to boost the unhappiness statistics down one person, post, book, event and programme at a time.